In my solitude. i wondered to myself. Do i like her or do i not? im totally puzzeled. Is this just a crush or infatuation or is it for real this time? I cant even figure this out. Is it because that i gave in too much perviously and now im numb by it. It'd been too painful so i cant feel it now anymore. It changed me. I dont want to be like this. I hate it. I want to feel how its like to fall in love again. Its hurting me. I dont mind if its one-sided, as long as i know that there is someone that i can live for. It might be stupid but. Its like life is playing a trick on me and i have been tricked. I wished that that's for real. At least for that, ill know that im not longer trapped in that miserable and afflicted world. i've returned to be what i used to be. A more optimistic, care-free person. A life with least sorrows. A life full of fun and laughter. Still, Life is a mystery.
Tuesday, September 07, 2004