the reason is you.

rain

2007-03-26T04:38:00.000+08:00

2007-03-10T02:54:00.000+08:00

sometimes, i just dont understand.

2007-02-02T01:37:00.000+08:00

i've moved!

2007-01-30T14:43:00.000+08:00

shot me down.

noise

truism by Jenny Holzer

2006-11-26T02:12:00.000+08:00

Truism

a sincere effort is all you can ask
abuse of power comes as no surprise
all things are delicately interconnected
automation is deadly
bad intentions can yield good results
believing in rebirth is the same as admitting defeat
boredom makes you do crazy things
confusing yourself is a way to stay honest
dependence can be a meal ticket
don't place to much trust in experts
dreaming while awake is a frightening contradiction
dying should be as easy as falling off a log
enjoy yourself because you can't change anything anyway
exceptional people deserve special concessions
expiring for love is beautiful but stupid
fake or real indifference is a powerful personal weapon
if you aren't political your personal life should be exemplary
if you can't leave your mark give up
it's crucial to have an active fantasy life
just believing something can make it happen
killing is unavoidable but nothing to be proud of
lack of charisma can be fatal
loving animals is a substitute activity
men are not monogamous by nature
moderation kills the spirit
morals are for little people
mothers shouldn't make too many sacrifices
much was decided before you were born
noise can be hostile
people are nuts if they think they are important
planning for the future is escapism
religion causes as many problems as it solves
remember you always have freedom of choice
romantic love was invented to manipulate women
solitude is enriching
stupid people shouldn't breed
talking is used to hide one's inability to act
the cruelest disappointment is when you let yourself down
the idea of revolution is an adolescent fantasy
the most profound things are inexpressible
there's nothing except what you sense
thinking too much can only cause problems
wishing things away is not effective
you are a victim of the rules you live by
you are the past present and future
you can live on through your descendants
your actions are pointless if no one notices
your oldest fears are the worst ones
(Jenny Holzer)

photos of november 07, 2006

2006-11-07T12:33:00.000+08:00

(click to view the rest of the series)

my film camera which still have film in it.

2006-10-19T23:23:00.000+08:00

i cant wait for myself to finish this roll of film

so i can go down to the photoshop

and have it developed.

feel like shit.

2006-10-15T13:04:00.000+08:00

im missing amandalee

2006-10-13T15:57:00.000+08:00

i slept at seven thirty this morning.

after five hours of sleep,

i woke up and i missed her.

i didnt wanna wake up, i snuggled with my booster.

and i drift off to my dreams.

i woke up again, and i missed her.

i just wanna sleep in, its still early.

i slept, i woke, and i miss her now.

3 kinds of people.

2006-10-05T17:12:00.000+08:00

there are three kinds of people.

one, the people who remembers.

two, the people who dont remembers.

three, the people that remember the people who remembers.

glasses

2006-10-02T23:04:00.000+08:00

2006-09-28T21:37:00.000+08:00

why do you tend to look away after making eye contact?

are you that awkward?

the eyes tells a better story than the mouth.

a theory for kicking addiction.

2006-09-21T22:12:00.000+08:00

okay let me tell you why people cant kick off their addiction.

people are constantly trying to quit their addiction.

but each time they stop, they kept count of how many days they stopped.

one day, one week, two week then one month.

then one fine day, they think to themself.

"wow, its been one month since i last fill in verb,

maybe its time to reward myself with my addiction.

and ill try harder the next time. i will!"

this way they rationalise to themself but end up getting hooked again.

but really, throughout the time they stopped their addiction.

they re constantly keeping count of the days and thinking of their addiction.

how can you get something off your daily habit when youre thinking about it everyday?

so i say, stop keeping count and just stop

as though it didnt even happen to you before.

or die thinking.

( that you will kick your addiction. )

my collegue who looks like fiona xie at incall centre.

2006-09-19T22:39:00.000+08:00

im working at science park drive from 830-1800.

its pretty far away from home.

everyday, i have to take a 2hr ride twice.

its harder than what i used to do.

for your info, its a telemarketing job.

i have to do a lil data entry.

but you know what,

i think my collegue looks like fiona xie.

although im not a big fan of her.

but dudee...

old man at dakota cresent.

2006-09-08T17:43:00.000+08:00

a budget hotel at loke yew street.

2006-09-05T12:45:00.000+08:00

im a very irregular blogger.

and im sorry that you people feel cheated for coming t my blog

and ended up with nothing to read.

so to end of that misery, heres something new.

the sun is up yesterday and i went to take photo.

i found this really budget hotel at lokeyew street.

their price range between $175-250/mth depending on room size.

they have really limited facilities.

they have a kitchen on every storey(there were three levels and a narrow lobby)

and all they have there were, a table, a wok, a knife, a chopping board,

a stove, some plates, a sink and a rice cooker.

(i only saw the rice cooker on the second level)

and the funny thing is they have a tv with a player,

some chairs and a fridge on the second level.

a washing machine on the first level and nothing on the third.

they cant store food in their room according to rules.

the hotel do provide laundry in the rental fee.

but theres a washing machine on the first level, oh i already said.

i wonder if thats what they use or for private usage.

they have this two sofachair which only allows one 30mins.

well, the people who stayed here are usually nepalis and indians, one tentant said.

and they hang their laundry on the rooftop.

on the side, there might be pictures of it soon.

2006-08-11T01:17:00.000+08:00

allow me to rant in my peace.

i was angry at myself. i hate the way i allow things to happen to me.

control, is the only thing that i have left, to decide, to live, to cry or to shout.

i lack control over myself, then what am i now?

an empty vessel floating in the void of the earth.

being pushed around by impulse.

triggered by the absense of life,

or when every matter turns stagnant or simply ran out of its purpose.

perhaps allowing myself to lose myself is the only way to feel alive.

2006-08-09T01:05:00.000+08:00

i shall blog as i dont blog often.

some people may bug me for not blogging.

but the truth is my life is boring.

theres nothing interesting happening every other day.

but for now, i have something to tell you.

my mother's birthday falls on national day.

so cool right? i know you wish my mom was your mom.

but no. youre just day-dreaming.

so cool right?

2006-07-24T00:01:00.000+08:00

sooner or later, we wont be talking.

edits.
the older you grow, the lesser you speak.
the more you feel, the lonelier you get.
Photographs is the only medium you known to speak.

crazy crazy, tag xp

2006-07-10T12:27:00.000+08:00

i need some space.

in fact, im always thinking about you.

i need to move on, im going crazy about you.
you seem so real to me everywhere i go.
that if i stretch out my hand,
ill be holding yours.

dont, dont go far away from me.

and yet, you are.

2006-07-06T22:06:00.000+08:00

and you know the pain is real,

when it only hurts you in the heart.

2006-06-23T16:11:00.000+08:00

strangers come and go,

leaving us memories of gold.

raining on sunday.

2006-06-11T16:08:00.000+08:00

its raining on sunday.

the kinda days i love best.

but right now, i just wanna go outside.

2006-06-05T17:32:00.000+08:00

its exam period now. and you know what?

theres no study break this time round. so we have to mug mug mug like crazy! but we will be having a two weeks break after that. goodie goodie. though i still hate the fact that theres a lack of time. and sleep, is really important. i cant get to sleep, cos i always feel that im not ready. i am not ready! im so going to fail my maths. i cant even do the simplest sum. oh man, i better get tuition.

yes, after my exam, ill try to sleep for two days. i can never do that, the most i slept was 16hours maybe. thats not even half of two days. boo!

thank God, man.

2006-05-31T03:14:00.000+08:00

wow, i came to realise that God bought me this far.

from a man seeking God, to a follower of Christ,

to a hospitality leader, and a baker.

two years ago, i would never see myself baking.

never see myself running any team.

i would rather picture myself,

doing what i want, messing up my life.

its really amazing how great God have been to me.

and i still disappoint him at times.

(man, i really have to work on that)

i cant say what have come outta me.

but it surely is something good. Thank you, Lord.

and thank you people for bringing me to Him.

it've been an awesome time.

so, dont stop what you've been doing.

lets get on track.

2006-05-30T00:48:00.000+08:00

i never knew i'd miss you so much.

it is such pain to try and forget you.

i know this have always been a dream.

but this dream have gone on for too long.

just by picturing you smiling,

already put a smile on me.

what a dumb fool i am.

photos

2006-05-29T00:45:00.000+08:00

theres nothing i can write about now.

here's some pictures.

a picture says a thousand words.

so there you go, a three thousand word entry.

lil purple flowers

2006-05-27T01:31:00.000+08:00

lil purple flowers.

boy screaming butterflies

2006-05-21T05:07:00.000+08:00

a boy screaming butterflies.

faces in my life

2006-05-08T20:32:00.001+08:00

the beautiful paroramic sunset.

2006-05-07T22:21:00.000+08:00

2006-05-02T22:03:00.000+08:00

went for a run in the evening.

my stamina kept failing on me.

but i just kept on running.

feels good after that though. (:

but i realised i put on weight.

OH CRAP!

happy happy! floaty floaty

2006-05-02T13:01:00.000+08:00

today, i got to sleep in.

im feeling terrific.

im happy today!

re you feeling happy too? ((:

granny's wake and xp.

2006-05-01T22:22:00.000+08:00

some days re just boring.

some days re just too crazy.

and its been a crazy weekend.

i met up with all my cous.

well, its not like its any gathering or someone's birthday.

it was my granny's wake.

made me realise that mothers re precious.

they take care of you from the day you popped out

till the very day they last see you.

the naggings and the nonsense they said. yes, its irritating!

one day you will miss it deeply, madly.

so from now, appreciate mothers.

yes they re naggin, bear with it. (:

my cous re all fine, and one thing bout my maternal side.

they all have daugthers. well, there's only like 4boys.

i seen my uncle getting old and mentally unstable.

its just plain weird, months ago, he was well. now he's almost crazy.

sweet.

had a day out. and we were just talking most of the time.

like the way it is. and yes, it rained. ((:

2006-04-27T23:52:00.000+08:00

too many too many too many,

issues re happening.

too fast too fast too fast,

all in one day.

its all disappointment, grief and confusion.

well, if thats caused by one issue.

thats fine, but theres several.

and makes the crap outta everything.

too troublesome too troublesome,

to handle.

i wish it will just turn out well.

at least it will have nicer wrapping up.

it just a downside, a downside.

it will go away.

everything will happen smoothly.

as it is planned.

2006-04-25T23:46:00.002+08:00

how many times have i been on the bus and suddenly,
the thought of it stuck me.?
many times.
how many times have it caught me off guard?
many times.
as much as i dont want it to happen, cause it doesnt pleases me.
it just happen, in the sweetest kinda fantasy.
but reality always remind me that its only a dream.
such distraction.
but i just have to love hate relationship with it.
dammit, im a sucker.

skies re blue. when my days re blue.
woah!

2006-04-22T03:39:00.000+08:00

im sleepy and im posting.
im writing but im shutting my brains.
definitely this is a mindless entry.
which i personally will not read.
its boring to the max,
and i am so capable of writing one.
i must be one boring dude.

(man, took you a while to realise.)

2006-04-17T03:02:00.000+08:00

i went to 'the butterfactory.'

and i love the picture on the wall

behind the turntable. it is really nice!

it was lucky we got in, age limit for guys was 21.

everyone knows i dont qualify for that.

but on top of that, we shouldnt have been lucky.

2006-04-13T02:24:00.000+08:00

i built a city!
and here's a biggger one!
(:

2006-04-09T16:52:00.000+08:00

im planning to go to pulau ubin tomorrow.

and im going!

2006-04-08T01:45:00.000+08:00

days been good, havent been working.

been bit by insects and it itch like mad.

and you know how much more it itches when its at the feet.

it horrible. its like an itch that is never ending.

it didnt rain today, i dont really like it.

i like days when it rains.

the smell of rain, the smell the soil

and how everything is slower.

everything just slow down a lil.

cars slow down for traffic.

and the weather is cold.

2006-04-05T00:59:00.000+08:00

things i found at home.

2006-04-04T22:02:00.000+08:00

time passed so slowly in the afternoon.
so dreadful, the way i want to.
listening to the same midi on repeat.

2006-04-04T16:39:00.000+08:00

enjoi.

2006-04-01T04:41:00.000+08:00

oh right, so i saw you today in the afternoon.
i felt anger, cos i thought it was a waste of time.
but you smiled, i bet that was out of coincidence.
you must be wondering how small this could get.
but still, im wondering what your smile meant.
cause a smile could mean a thousand ways.

Must I always be waiting, waiting on you.
Must I always be playing, playing your fool.

2006-03-25T01:20:00.000+08:00

its still under construction, just bear with me.
im really considering removing the tagboard.

2006-03-23T02:14:00.000+08:00

im currently changing my blog skin//

a sneak peak of my diary!

2006-03-20T03:14:00.000+08:00

click to enLARGE.

2006-03-19T00:20:00.000+08:00

the last two days was absolute fun!
thanks rach for the invite.
and guys, i had fun, have you?
though seriously, im lacking of sleep.
8hrs of sleep in 48hrs.
and saturday was quite a mess.
been stonning thru out..
and im gonna work tomorrow.
so i should be in bed now.
sleeping sleep sleep.
goodnight people and i love to see you all again!

sweet!

maybe, im changing sites.

2006-03-16T03:37:00.000+08:00

but maybe, i will be changing to livejournal.

should i or should i not?

i met shima!

2006-03-15T00:51:00.000+08:00

apart from the mundane things that i do for holidays.
i went OUT of my house to go get something from sally.
then we talked for a bit about weird dreams we had.
and i left at midnight, she's cinderella, she have to go home by midnight.

i thought i have to walk home but i decided to check if...
i still have a bus, i am surprised!
so i read my book and waited for my bus.
the bus came, i boarded the bus, i alighted.
and i saw a friend. a secondary school friend.
"you looked thinner." that sounded like the most common comment.
or i say, the best line to start a conversation or a lil laughter.
im not thinner, in fact, i put on weight, just not noticable.
if theres no drastic change to your body, most of the time, youre thinner.
dont you people get that comment too or should i say compliment?
oh, like those parents when their kids come home from overseas.
"oh son, you slimmed down.." okay, thats not exactly true.
the image in your head gradually got shrunken over time.
thats what i think. hahha.
the usual things, what have you been doing?
"i'm ngee ann poly, doing engineering. having a vacation now"
likewise, i ask her what she was doing?
she looked like she just came back from something. something like an event.
"i just got back from disney on ice."
"so how was it?"
"its good, as always."
at this very instance, she seem to grow up watching it.
"you grew up watching it?!"
"yes, i watch it every year and i never missed one."
"woah, what a enthusiast."
thats an interesting fact. disney on ice..(:
a girl who grew up watching disney on ice. how cute.

i bet you people dont find it interesting.
but it is to me! thanks for reading.

2006-03-07T03:02:00.000+08:00

when you see malay boys coming on board,
loud talking and laughter and annoying way of listening to music.
it is surely the most irritating thing, you cant have your peace.

i wish i had some strangers to talk to me.
people t just talk to at this time of the hour.
some meaningless conversations along with vague relish.
tell me the dumbest story or make up the best lie.

but what i feel like doing now..
have a friend, have some endless conversations.
sitting at a place when we can just embrace the peace.
staring at nothing, asking random questions.

my sister that worries me.

2006-03-04T02:41:00.000+08:00

a piece of my mind.

im too lost with directions.

too confused to be able to think.

images and eventuality flash thru my mind.

certainly, i pray that i know what to do.

im worried sick and i wish i had a solution.

trauma she gave me was terrible.

and its scary to know what she's thinking inside.

the way she acts outside of her seem crude to me.

she's spoilt, to me sometimes.

she could be better off, i know.

she is just not willing to try.

she's on top of the world, she thinks.

i couldnt turn back time for all i know.

but i sure can change some attitude.

this phase of growing up is just temporary.

and i say temporary cause i believe it is.

but during this temporary period,

i pray that Lord, you look over her.

2006-03-02T23:52:00.000+08:00

One entry just for you my friend

im certainly very pleased with you.

although to me, im just writing REALLY nonsensical entries.

but i love it when you finish reading one and you just wanna read another.

i never fail to update when you ask me to.

which i wonder why i succumb to your obligation.

i am usually lazy.

although, we never really meet up often in our secondary school's years.

im glad we're friends who can talk so openly about everything.

and i really had fun when we hang out together.

im only saying this because i think we should hang out more.

and you must be wondering which friend is she.

edna, its you.

2006-02-24T00:34:00.000+08:00

i have panic attacks all the time.
i am having a panic attack now.
it makes me nervous and breathless.
breathe, breathe. Breathe!

2006-02-21T13:22:00.000+08:00

NOIZE NOISE NOIZE NOISE NOIZE NOISE NOISE!
NOISE NOISE NOISE NOIZE NOIZE NOIZE NOISE!
DRILLING DRILLING DRILLING TILES TILES TILES!
for all i know, they re changing the tiles for the whole e building of mine!
i cant possibly have any peace this way, it wakes me up and it irritates me!
i have to study and this drilling thing is surely in my way.
DRILL DRILL DRILL! not only they re drilling, they have at least 3 person drilling
AT THE SAME TIME! its like echo from here, continuation from there. EVERYWHERE!
i could die staying at home even if i dont have anything to do!
im going outta my house now! NOW!
GRUMBLES GRUMBLE GRUMBLES.

2006-02-21T01:32:00.000+08:00

i love my friends as much as i love myself.
i love sausages but actually, i love potatoes more!
i always have potatoes in my fridge.
im stoning like i always do when im really tired.
im totally spaced out now.
a little space to imagine, a little time to waste and a little dream to grow.
a little can make a lot.

S P A C E O U T !

2006-02-15T23:51:00.000+08:00

was valentines day.
and i never celebrated valentines day with a date before.
dont be surprised, its the same this year round.
haha. but its fine. valentines day is actually made up by companies!
and because of this companies that found it profitable, valentines is still alive.
flowers, movies, dinners and long queues. hate long queues.
i would rather have a quiet evening at home with my date!
and save the trouble of queuing up and an empty stomach grumbling.
some people thinks that valentines day make no sense at all.
but actually, everyday is valentines day.
and somehow, i realise that im randomly putting facts in my entry.
i bought flowers for my mom and my sister.
they were pretty touched and yes, i do like valentine's day for that reason. (:

big fish eat small fish and small fish eat smaller fish.
big fish would not have small fish to eat cause small fish grew up to be Big Fish!
because small fish fed on smaller fish grew up!
brilliant!

2006-02-07T20:05:00.000+08:00

many times, you wish you had someone to meet after school.
someone to hear you out, someone you can hold on to.
someone you can talk to, someone you can spend time with.
someone you can fool around, someone who you can take your guards off.
and enjoy the greatest time of your life.
its always good to have a company, no?
no one is meant to do things alone here on earth. right no, people?

2006-02-03T23:45:00.000+08:00

i always write out what im feeling and unsatisfied about.
it makes me feel better, feel like i had let it out.
and then i realised, im always writing about the same things, no?
but it always happen to me, i guess i havent learnt it properly yet.
it keeps coming back to me? im not sure, but maybe.
but im better with it now. so bare with me if i really am writing just about the same things.
and boo boo, things have changed.

WAH!

2006-01-13T21:52:00.000+08:00

hey, bryant blogged.
here's the link.
http://www.i-love-bunnie-rabbits.blogspot.com/

2006-01-09T13:27:00.000+08:00

it's been raining. and i love rainy days.

except for the waking up, the water puddle.

the wet shoes, the wet socks.

rainy days re gloomy, and everything seem slow-moving.

the neighbourhood is quiet. i feel lazy.

i wish i had the time t just stay at home.

to sleep, to watch tv, to watch the rain fall to the ground.

a cup of hot chocolate on the table.

look out of my window, to see cars drive pass

splashing water to the side.

and i love the smell of the air when its raining heavily.

2005-12-27T20:37:00.000+08:00

HELLO PEOPLE!
i know i've been gone for a while.
and now, im back! yay!
this year's christmas was a blast these year!
i went clubbing with the boys and girls on friday.
i cant remember the dates and days now.
everyday seem to have turned over and everything is just happening.
too many, too many things happening!
yes. we went clubbing at phuture. woo. it was SUPER packed with people.
we have jugs to drink and we were a lil tipsy when we started dancing.
wei and perryn was dissing the guys there like MAD man.
damm, its so funny, you should see.
the whole night was just wild and we danced all night.
and when you stopped, everything is in slow-motion man.
yea, its cool to be in slow motion. though you can barely move around properly.
hahhaa. it may sound like im totally drunk. but no, im not!
we were all just having a good time man. haha.
mark's christmas party was excellent man. the food is way too GOOOD!
i had my fill and we started chilling at the playground then mark's place.
watched love actually, woo, what a touching movie on christmas.
and right now, the tnt peeps re watching Narnia while im at home.
i was packing my house! basket, dont laugh, seriously, i was packing!
basjdkahduoawhadwbdao bwdb awd. byee.

2005-12-02T00:43:00.000+08:00

i will be gone, for a while.
it matters to you people, no?
i hope so. yea..

I'm an engine driver
on a long run,
on a long run.
Would I were beside her:
she's a long one,
such a long one.
And if you don't love me, let me go.
And if you don't love me, let me go.
I'm a county lineman
on the high line,
on the high line.
So will be my grandson:
there are powerlines
in our bloodlines.
And if you don't love me, let me go.
And if you don't love me, let me go.
And I am a writer,
writer of fictions,
I am the heart that you call home.
And I've written pages upon pages
trying to rid you from my bones,
my bones, my bones.
I'm a money-lender:
I have fortunes
upon fortunes.
Take my hand for tender.
I am tortured,
ever tortured.
And if you don't love me, let me go.
And if you don't love me, let me go.
And I am a writer,
writer of fictions,
I am the heart that you call home.
And I've written pages upon pages
trying to rid you from my bones.
I am writer,
I am all that you have hoped of.
And I've written pages upon pages
trying to rid you from my bones,
my bones, my bones.
And if you don't love me, let me go.
And if you don't love me, let me go.

the Decemberist - The engine driver

2005-12-01T00:57:00.000+08:00

seriously, we should go and fly kites one day.

2005-11-28T23:02:00.000+08:00

i daydream, i wonder.
dont stop me! dont!
i love being in my dreams.

never would i find my answer to my questions.
cause only time will tell.
time is one thing i hate messing with.
most of the time, it gets the nerve outta me.
i held on to something so dearly to me.
so tight that sometimes, i couldnt breathe.
i dont know if im doing all my things right.
but i know thats just me.
put up with me for a while.
and im sure ill treat you good.
this whole thing might seem randomly written.
i know, and it must be.
im happy. im happy.
because christmas is coming. and i love christmas.
i wish singapore would snow. cover singapore with snow.
and people walking ard in their lovely winter wear.
then, partying in a warm and candle-lited place.
christmas carols, cookies, presents and lovely peoples.
what a nice feeling.
i want snow. dont you too?

2005-11-28T14:53:00.000+08:00

well, im in school.
theres nothing much these day.
been to church everyday.
helping out with the decoratives, cookies and presents.
the music is always good. makes it feel so christmas-sy.
wooo. i cant wait for christmas.
im happy, im happy! yayie yay!

2005-11-21T13:00:00.000+08:00

BULLSHIT! seriously,
everything is BULLSHIT!

no la, just kidding. hehe.
not good not good, things re not so good.
been moody these days and have been trying to snap outta it.
somehow i did, but somehow or another i fell back in again!
why again! its irritating you know!
you know what i feel like doing now?
i feel like walking, walking, walking.
walking aimlessly, settling down on spots i can chill for a while.
space out, look at the skies, the greens and the people passing by.
then continue walking on after a lil break. with my diary, ill walk.
and write down whateever that comes out from my head.
with cool breeze blowing in my face and a nice cushioned shoe.

2005-11-18T00:32:00.000+08:00

camp days was fun man.
i miss camp! i want camp!
but not every part of it, surely not the sleeping part.
(:

2005-11-14T13:13:00.000+08:00

hehehehehe!

2005-11-10T23:15:00.000+08:00

im trying to perk myself up now!
but no matter how much i tried to chill.
how much i try to not think about it and let it pass.
and hoping that someone would come by
tell me a good joke, and i would be laughing and smiling.
but none of them happened.
its like downfall all the way since then.
why cant people just take things a lil bit more seriously?
sometimes, i dont have any intention behind anything at all.
but everyone seem to think there is.
its good if they re just joking, i hope and i know they re.
but wouldnt there be any hurting be done subconsciously?
why cant everyone just be pure, simple and maybe similar?
i know! because they wont be changes, improvement and others.
if everyone were to be the same, this world would be boring.
no, maybe it wouldnt be. since everyone would be doing just about the same things.
there wouldnt be problems, there wouldnt be complains, things would be almost perfect.
but many times, people would take the present world into comparsion with that.
and that makes it seem like it is boring.
but there wouldnt be happiness too.
but see, how would i know if there wont be happiness?
cos in this present moment, if nothing special or interesting will to happen,
its boring, aint it?
but then again,
Happiness is in the doing, not what you want.
so, if everyone were to be the same, everyone would probably have the same thinking.
then, similar people find it interesting to do what they do,
they would be happy too, no?

2005-11-09T10:07:00.000+08:00

Passenger Seat I roll the window down and then begin to breathe
in the darkest country road and the strong scent of evergreen
from the passenger seat as you are driving me home
Then looking upwards I strained my eyes and
try to tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites
from the passenger seat as you are driving me home
Do they collide? I ask and you smile.
With my feet on the dash, the world doesn't matter.
When you feel embarrassed then I'll be your pride
When you need directions then I'll be the guide for all time
for all time..

well, it was a great morning today but i dont seen to able to smile.
then i remembered wei saying that i was semi-depressed.
i guess i am. a void a void. it made so much sense at that point of time.
then i got outta house and i plucked in my earphones.
'Passenger Seat' started playing and i thought God answered my prayer!

08nov

2005-11-08T22:04:00.000+08:00

well, didnt have time to blog last night.
prayers was awesome. its was different.
not like praise and worship then praying in groups.
theres six station, each of them have diff instruction
and different ways to be connected to God.
i like the station that allows you to draw or to write.
theres one that you can listen to praise and worship songs.
another, you can light a candle and pray for that person.
i tot it was cool and we ought to do that more often with more time!

well, today, i watched 'Before Sunset' in school.
its a good show man. it gott me thinking and thinking.
but my friend fell asleep. basket!
its a story about life and the different parts of it.
about desires, beliefs, happiness, love, anger and something else la.
its like a real time playing show cos they re talking all the time.
it is as if they re acting in front of you. they just keep talking, talking.
you should never shift your attention away or you will be lost!
but what they said re really worth the thinking that youre gonna make.
it makes you realise things that you miss out from our ever-busy and hectic life.
the simple beauty of life and the emotions and wonders God had created.
its a beautiful story if you understand it. i think i did la! haha.
man, i want to watch it again. but its gotta take some time!
you people can consider borrowing it and watch it. but dont, when youre sleepy!

after school, i went to church to PEH with the peeps and make tiramisu!
i cant wait for tomorrow so i can try the tiramisu! wooweee!

lets hold hands, we might not let go.
wish you were here.
oh random!

2005-11-06T22:00:00.000+08:00

dainty lil girl, she filled my mind..

a burst of emotions, a burst of images..

2005-11-06T11:00:00.000+08:00

i saw a shooting star! i saw a shooting star!
then i saw another shooting star!
woo woo wee wee! i saw two shooting stars.
im trying to type out what i felt last night.
i was too tired to blog when i got home last night.
chivas night out confession. ohlema, it was good.
we felt so much closer to each other.
telling each other all the stuff that have been in us.
we talked about so many things.
we could have talk the night away.
well, we didnt la. we went home at about four.
hahaa. the funs we had last night was too great la!
there were things that were so funny, so real and so entertaining.
like balancing with seesaw with zech, we won eh!
we balanced the longest! hahahahah. i think we re really down-to-earth.
we laugh at just about anything at all and have fun with the simplest thing.
wooo, i love my friends and im so so SO GLAD that they re in my life.
and i really REALLY APPRECIATE them.
sorry i dont have any big and fanciful words. im not good at them okay! hehhe. (:
and yes, some friends re only temporary. and i have to chose those that re to stay.
well, im telling you boys that i have already chose you ppl eh!
though maybe you would let me down at times, but dont worry bout it. ill deal with it.
but just make sure that we will still stand together and walk thru life together ya.
just like that wish we made 'we will friends until marriage!' ohoh! correction.
'even after marriage.' hahhaaha. and yea, times when im nt doing well or done wrong.
tell me ya. i bet you guys well. thats what i like about you guys man! true and fun.
ohlema! i just love you guys man. you all accept the way i am. stoning out and stuff.
thanks man. BU! and UBS!

and sorry, theres no dainty lil girl or timid lil boy today.
next entry eh!

2005-11-05T02:42:00.000+08:00

how i told anyone that i love walls solero ice cream?
its my favourite ice cream since i was young.
i dont fancy any expensive ice cream.
gelare, hagendaz or ben & jerry's.
but ben & jerry's is nice la!
but i can never get sick of solero.
i just love the lime taste and the vanilla.
woooweeeee..yum yum! i wish i had it now.
so..

in the midst of all conversations,
the timid lil boy stole a glance.
at that dainty lil girl.
she's beautiful in his eyes.
and boy, he wish she knew.

2005-11-03T23:39:00.000+08:00

yay! i chilled with the boys.
there was a live band at esplanade.
it was good. but they did all covers.
i went home early cos i have sch tmr!

that daintly lil girl.
she glanced at me.
she gave me a smile.
my heart fluttered.

2005-11-03T03:45:00.000+08:00

only three days of school.
and i felt left out.
i dont seem to understand anything the boys said.
but well, after a while of observing, i kinda get it.
only part of it though, not the details. but thats enough.
im very very tired now, since 11plus, i was already sleepy.
i woke up at seven eh! and i am grumpy and angry if i dont get sleep.
i tend to scold people and not talk and be grumpy. hahha.
but guess im kinda okay now, after some walking, im a lil awake.
but im nt gonna last long. i gotta go to bed after my hair dries.
oh! its dry now! weeehh!

i stand knocking on the door
of this dainty lil girl.
and there i stood patiently,
wondering if she would turn the knob.

2005-11-01T22:14:00.000+08:00

PEH PEH PEH!
i miss peh-ing.
only two days, and im missing them.
oh well, if i dont see you ppl tmr.
ill surely come on thursday okay!
okayyy..i had a dream.
and i dream that i dreamt.
that im dreaming of a dreams of dreams.
i woke up.

a bad start of school.

2005-10-31T13:14:00.000+08:00

this morning when i was still in bed, i barely wanna wake up.
i kept snoozing my alarm and finally woke up at eight-fifty.
i've class at ten and i have to rush to be punctual, which i doubt i can be.
i wanted to wash up and bathe but my dad was in the bathroom.
i waited. i got dressed up and was heading for the door.
my dad stopped me and started scolding me. for..
not being at home for the holidays. i went out early, came back home late.
i barely get t see them, oh well, conveniently, my dad blame me for everything.
he said the most hurting words and words that arent true.
well, im sorry for not being at home for the holidays.
but i tell you, i was mad and i was pissed. my dad is so unreasonable.
i wouldnt wanna go into details.
and damm, thats a really really bad start for school.

2005-10-31T01:48:00.000+08:00

holidays re officially over.
school's starting later in the morning.
oh well, its isnt that terrible.
except the waking up part
and not be able to peh with the church dudes.
well, this holiday have been great.
it was draining going to church for 2and1/2week.
though i didnt do much, but it was tiring.
sleeping late, waking up early. was lacking of sleep.
but i had a whole lot of fun. and bonding with ppl.
like yeronn, sam, leon, rachel, jialun, michelle and some some more.
baik rong'er we peh the most lo. though its bored but we dont feel bored eh.
i know you get what i mean, maybe they dont understand but its okay. haha.
and seriously, i think our two man band can make it someday le.
only for a while, we already earn 40cents. baik kau. one day, we'll make it big.
sure im gonna miss all the peh-ing and jackass stuff.
seriously, im so glad you people re in my life. just hanging out. sharing life.
its been great yea. hougang-gang, bedok boys. farrer girl. hahahhahaha. farrer boy!
hahhaha. soon, there would be a whole lot more groups to come.
i heard theres a GIRLS UNION coming up. we'll all come tgt one day and PEH and see cai'er.
haha. soccer-ing, cookie-ing, eating, supper-ing. talking shit, laughing at each other.
everyone being victorious. and emo-ing. wooola! dots. cai'ers. making discoveries.
this holiday is the best man. i seriously enjoyed it. now its over, i'll remember all!
\m/ buddayong \m/ man, i love my boys. hahaha. that sounded gay but i dont care!

we really did grew closer,
and i feel like crying having thoughts of not being able to peh the whole day.
my boys, my boys.

2005-10-30T03:36:00.000+08:00

'live' was good. u2.
the boys did really well.
at least they enjoyed themselves.
good job, good job. see the fruits of your practise. yay!
\m/ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ \m/
oranje was good too.
err. oh yea. i tot the girl band was awesome.
though the song was simple. but it was great. (:
well done, girls. (if you even read this.)
and yea, good luck for your o'lvl chinese eh!
it really isnt that difficult, but dont slack off.
errhhh, school's starting. no more pehing.
no more dots so often. FRESH MEAT!
but maybe sometimes, we will help me help you.
and then we can 'care' eh.
haaha. good nigth people. i need sleep!
SLEEEP SLEEEP!
oh, happy birthday dalto, zouk together eh. we're legal!
hahahaha. peace out. A town. haahaah

2005-10-29T03:21:00.000+08:00

And it's all in how you mix the two
And it starts just where the light exists
It's a feeling that you cannot miss
It burns a hole through everyone that feels it
Well you're never gonna find it
If you're looking for it
Won't come your way yeah
Well you'll never find it
If you're looking for it (looking for it)

Should've done something
But I've done it enough
By the way your hands were shaking
Rather waste some time with you

baik, this song is good eh.
angsty sia. goodnight. tired eh.
i've been pehing in church these days. long hours.

oct27,2005

2005-10-27T01:53:00.000+08:00

my life..

is like a bus.
people board the bus.
take a ride with me.
have a conversation or two.
they know a lil about me.
we had our fun and time.
they move on; they alight.
i reached my stop and i alight too.
then, i'll take a walk home, alone.

2005-10-26T02:55:00.000+08:00

for the past three months.
and ive just realised that ive not done anything.
ive been just lazing ard. appearing in places.
talking nonsense and doing shit.
shit, i need to find something productive to do.
any suggestion ppl?

2005-10-25T02:16:00.000+08:00

one day, sian siaps stomach pain, continue next time.

2005-10-21T04:58:00.000+08:00

everything today seem to be running in slow motion.
the only thing that is running normally gotta be the show we just watched.
garden state, have you guys watch the show before?
its really a nice show yea. you guys should watch it!
okay, i think its just me stoning out, zonking out.
its normal for me ya, at least evryone would agree on that.
hahahahahhahahaa. that is all i wanna say! hee.

2005-10-20T04:04:00.000+08:00

sometimes i feel so stupid when i dont know what to say.
sometimes i feel so dumb when i cant get the simplest thing right.
sometimes i feel like im always blamed although i tot that i did right.
sometimes i feel like i dont know how to start a conversation.
sometimes i feel like i dont know what to say to you.
sometimes i feel like im left alone just because i dont know what to say.
sometimes i feel like i dont have a partner.
sometimes i feel like noone understands me here in this earth.
sometimes i feel like im standing alone although everyone's near.
sometimes i feel like nobody knows me.
sometimes i feel like im lousy with everything.
sometimes i feel like i cant get anything right, anything straight.
sometiems i feel like i always say the wrongest things.
sometimes i feel like i dont wanna be here anymore.
sometimes i feel like i shouldnt even be here.
sometimes i feel like i just want someone to be by me.
sometimes i feel like i am simple, down-to-earth.
sometimes i feel like i am too simple.
sometimes i feel like im very happy.
sometimes i feel like no one bothers me.
sometimes i feel like i need somebody to talk to me.
sometimes i feel like i need somebody to lemme know that im important.
sometimes i feel like i need you so much closer.
sometimes i feel like i want you people to talk to me more.
sometimes i feel like everyone hates me.
sometimes i feel like everyone is joking with me.
sometimes i feel like im not important. everyone's fooling me.
sometimes i feel like im the most boring person ever.
sometimes i feel like im useless in many ways.
sometimes i feel like crying it all out.
sometimes i feel like this thoughts re fakes.
sometimes i feel like im always kidding all the time.
but this time, i think im not.

2005-10-18T23:28:00.000+08:00

aiya. i dont know what to blg anymore.
i think people re sick of reading my blog.
its so predictable. but well, im too boring.
but lately i have been thinking why re things this way?
i never understand. and im depressive.
boo! so bye! im in church now.

2005-10-10T12:37:00.000+08:00

its been LOOONNNGGG since i last blogged.
lotsa things happend lately yea.
been thru lots of fun and a few bad times eh.
i got back my results and im so happy with it.
i've got As in my results; im so surprised.
i've a AD for one my module; i was shocked.
i couldnt believe my eyes. hahha. for once, i did well for my exams.
and lately, there was a whole lot of hanging out going on.
we hang out all day, all night. and last week, i'm deprived of sleep.
well, i caught up with that last night. (:
i tell you last week was full of fun, but yes, people were a lil angsty.
but we got bad moods over fast. we had the life of many wished they have.
xboxing, eating, slacking, supper-ing, talking. basically, just wasting time away.
hahaha. besides all the hanging out, im at church alot nowadays.
i love church, i love GOD and i love HIS peoples.
im glad GOD have been with us all this while and guiding us thru.
i thank GOD for that. HE kept us safe and well.
okay, i betta be off to meet wei or i will be late.
happy birthday wei!

2005-09-19T02:02:00.000+08:00

well, i said i was gonna blog later, but i didnt. sorry!
basically, my life now is simple.
i wake up. i wash up. i go to church.
jam jam jam, break, jam jam jam.
dinner, play xbox, watch movie. home.
the next day, the same routine all over again.
so everyday, i go to church.
church aint as boring as some of you might think.
its actually quite fun. part of it goes to the companion as well.
i never regret going to FGA. it was a whole lot of exprience.
i met lotsa friends and they re really deeply valued.
you people meant alot to me. i wouldnt know the world if aint you boys.
thank you all so much! hehehe. (: cheers.
anniversary was okay..lunch was delayed. i got so hungry, i think everyone did.
the food was good. cakes especially. yum!
yea. there would be a chalet during 3rd to 6th Oct for the october's babies.
you ppl get to know a lil earlier yea. hehe. make yourself free, please.
do come, do come. all re welcome.

12sept,2005

2005-09-12T01:03:00.000+08:00

oh wells, exams over and done with!
i shall leave my results all to god.
i done my best and studied all i can.
well well, so now, i announced that im a freeman.
for the time being, hehe. DOC was good. i like the worship.
take all of me. the chorus really moved me. (:
and i realised that my blog went dead again.
rather depressing eh. is it because the song aint nice or is it too loud? hmm.
too those who care to drop by, i love you lots!
hahaa. okay, i meant that the brother sister kinda way.
but i suppose that aint many who reads.
so be it. but please read la. although i update super irregularly.

09sept,2005

2005-09-09T01:31:00.000+08:00

well, blogging is way of expressing, its no journalism.
so here i am to express myself again.
for past four days, i have been studying in church.
i have to admit i didnt study much, but at least i did.
if i were to stay home or otherwise, i dont think i would study anyway.
but i have my exams tomorrow, i hope i do well cause i did work for it eh!
well well, bout me. i havent been feeling too good. i dont know.
been feeling heavy inside, am i carrying them for too long too much?
its been tough. my nights re long, my mornings' re sad and my noons re bad.
those blues, those blues. been haunting me all around. hmm..what am i gonna do?
to maybe make myself not think or convince myself that it isnt so?
well well..

listening..Bbmak - Ghost of You and Me.
damm, this song is so describing me no?

05sept,05

2005-09-05T01:44:00.000+08:00

these days, i havent been feeling too good at nights.
i have been pondering over thoughts and i have been sleepless.
there seem to be a thousand reasons for me to think about them.
and i will never find out the answer why? but i think ill leave it as it is.
well, deep down inside, those things matter to me loads.
but im trying hard not to think about it. maybe its not the time yet.
maybe its jus me or something. im just emo, emo, emo. im not too sure anyway.

maybe i will find out one day. maybe.

03sept,05

2005-09-03T23:45:00.000+08:00

last night, i went night cycling.
was whole load of fun except the tiring part.
we cycled our way to church first.
joined the guys t celebrate kel's bday.
then off we set off to Kel's place.
to kinda give him a surprise.
but we got the surprise instead.
we cycled around, chill out, talk cock. mac'd. circuit racing.
was really fun, tien lang and his ambitious attempts.
which he ended up falling over. and it was real funny.
jpaul and his nonsense, his hokkien and all.
well, thats that. service was good. exam's nearing. thats bad.
im gonna mug! be good people, and be good, people. im always here. (:

28august,2005

2005-08-28T23:45:00.000+08:00

oh no! everything is coming up to me too fast, too much.
my life is so disorganised at this moment.
not that my life have always been organised la.
but things are getting a little outta hand now
too much project. one done, another comes.
too much revision. yes, its my fault to procrastinate.
too much test. i cant handle so many things at one go.
too much changes, my teacher pushed foward the test!
and damm, i cant cope with that change.
i still have things unclarified and un-learnt.
too much problems. im not quite sure bout this.
but seem like im quite a problem now.
too much task, i have so many assignments to do.
im still not used to it. i dont do much homeworks during sec. school. hehe.
too much too much to do. im going crazy in no time if this goes on.
OH NO! OH NO! OH NOOO! God, please help me thru this.
i need those prayers man, i need that!

22august2005

2005-08-22T21:35:00.000+08:00

why does everyone like to order hawaiian pizza? hmm..
do you like hawaiian pizza?

2005-08-21T15:01:00.000+08:00

sorry peeps, i have been busy with school work.
and i never have time to update my blog.
i will update when everything is over and done with eh.
or maybe i could find some lil lil time outta my tight schedule.
i dont actually have a schedule. (:

august14,2005

2005-08-14T17:01:00.000+08:00

im tired but still im going to write this entry before i get some rest.
school've been really tiring and i barely have enough sleep.
ive been staying up real late during weekends and that aint helping me replenish
my energy. i better rest more so i won't fall sick any time soon.
on saturday night after church, a whole bunch of us went back to our old church.
Mount sophia. how much fun and memories we had there on that lil hill.
needn't to say, the building is all locked-up and theres even bulb wires at the gate.
all electricity was already cutted off and you can picture how dark it was.
so as you people all know, our church would be in pitch dark state.
we had to climb in. after we got pass the gate. we went towards the auditorium.
to our surprise, we saw a black figure getting up and walking towards us.
he was putting on his white sa-rong while walking towards us.
we tried to talk to him but he just simply stood there and stare at us.
imagine how freaky is it to see such a strange black figure appeared in our old church
and yet he doesnt talks at all! since he was getting in our way to the auditorium,
we decided to walk towards the basketball court instead.
then we took a lil tour around the indian school block with our miserable mobile phone's light.
after that, we lingered around the basketball court talking bout what we used to do there.
having fun in the rain, playing soccer and all sorts of activities.
before we get all biten by mosquitos and soaked with our sweat, we decided to get outta church. just when we are going to climb out the gate, the indian guy walked towards us. everyone panicked and started climbing real fast, incase he gets too close for comfort. who knows what he is going to do?! after we got out of church, he went back and took his keys and came back to the gate.
he pushed the gate a little and tried opening the lock. we began walking away fast.
oh now, we kinda figured out that he's the security guard or something. well, thats that.
i miss our old church!

August7,2005

2005-08-07T11:30:00.000+08:00

i BURNT my foot.
now, its all black! yes. B-L-A-C-K!
eew! but good thing, its only first degree.
but still, there would be a scar but never mind that.
well, Festival Of Praise yesterday was good.
the word was greatly delivered.
Delirious was rather good too.
Hillsongs bought the house down.
Supper was quite satisfying cos i was real hungry.
but why is my foot is still BLACK?!
thats not good! oh no. oh no.